Written by Gerald Ehegartner

And this is where it can help to join a salvific cult. In the past, the initiation into this cult was through the Holy Sacrament of Baptism, which washed away all sin. Now, it is the Holy Sacrament of the Covid Vaccination.

photo credit: Andrea Percht


The Holy Sacrament of the Covid Vaccination

This text does not lay sole claim to the truth, nor does its author wish to make light of any person’s illness or death. I can assure you that no-one was hurt while it was being written, and that is how it should be as you are reading it.

However, in the event of undesirable side effects please consult your doctor or pharmacist, those new priests of the biosecurity age. 

We’re just about to leave for Church. We don’t want to be late for the baptism of those of our acquaintances who are true believers. For me, it’s a welcome change from my routine at least, as things are beginning to get me down at the moment.

How could it have gotten so far?  

As I enter the House of God and look around for the font containing the holy water, my eyes fall upon the little blue bottle that an attentive church helper hands to me: hand sanitiser, which I am instructed to make use of. Thus do “I wash my hands in innocence” (Psalm 26) whilst I slay unknown strains of bacteria and viruses at the Church portal, heedless of the Commandment, “Thou shalt not kill”.

“I hope the younger ones get vaccinated soon. My doctor is all for it. We all have to do our bit.”, I overhear an elderly parishioner say.

And then the scales fall from my eyes…

Truly, the hand sanitiser has become the new holy water; the Covid vaccination, the new baptism. What need for the village priest robed in black when there is the doctor robed in white?

Instead of the church building we have the doctor’s surgery; instead of monastic cloisters we have the test labs.

The new itinerant priests of fear do not proclaim their Gospel from the pulpit, instead they wander from one talk show to the next like so many Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Instead of theology, most of them have studied medicine; preferably that particular study of sin we call virology. These new priests evangelise with no less zeal than their ecclesiastical forebears and like them they are fond of frightening their congregations with the very direst of predictions.

Thus, no words of comfort or encouragement can be heard. Rather, words of fire and brimstone from one Christian in particular, Dr Christian Drosten, who has given us a confessional for the era of perpetual pandemics; the “perfectus, confessio, reus” (or PCR for short) which after 30 cycles of confession can turn any sin you wish into a mortal one and for which we must not forget to thank Divine Charity or, rather, the historic Charité Hospital in Berlin where the saintly Dr Drosten presides. Incidentally, the good doctor enjoys the very closest of ties with his American colleague Dr Anthony Faustus who would never, ever make a pact with the forces of evil…

While I “ponder upon these things” in my heart (Luke 2:19) I hear the organist strike up Bach’s cantata There is nothing sound in my body. “How fitting”, I almost exclaim out loud, “since Karl Sebastian Lauter-Bach* is truly a genius!”

Viruses – the new sins  

Viruses have become the new sins, an invisible threat against which only baptism (aka the vaccine) and confession (aka the PCR test) can provide protection. Thus, the cotton swab of the PCR test fulfils the role of the confessional; it is the scale upon which we are weighed and measured… and perhaps “found wanting” (Daniel 5:27). If the Christian confessional reveals that which was hidden in the soul, the cotton swab of the PCR test reveals that which was hidden in the body. Indeed, who of us can escape suspicion of being a sinner… sorry, I mean a “carrier”.

In former times, if during confession the stain of sin had been found in the soul of the penitent a penance would be given. Now that penance is called “quarantine”, a time during which we are invited to reflect upon our virological sins.

The anal swab which, I hear, promises to immediately uncover each and every sin without fail is a damned clever invention – “Made in China” – as it will serve both as a confession of sin and as a penance for that same sin. “But what then of the Dignity of Man?”, you might ask. “In a fairly shitty state”, I’d say.

But then, haven’t the new priests, the doctors, long been part of a priestly tradition? Robed in white, their hospital bed rounds seem like an ecclesiastical procession with the order of precedence determined by a strict hierarchy. While they process, they murmur in a strange, dead language that the not-yet-dead patient is unable to understand. Indeed, priestly castes have always taken care to speak in a language incomprehensible to those around them.

Passing the baton from a religious cult to a scientific one 

Whoever lets fall even one critical word, thereby threatening to unmask the modern orthodoxy, is no longer branded a pagan, a heretic and unbeliever, but rather pilloried as a conspiracy theorist and a science-denier and, if necessary, banned from the public square.

The religion of this secular age is Science and Queen among the Sciences is Medicine with the virologist being the very highest adept among his fellow scientists.

In this new religion man degenerates into a “case”, a mere point on an epidemiological curve – a datum to be fed by our modern-day prophets, the Computer Modellers, into their arcane prophecies. Thusly demoted man is stripped of his autonomy and dignity.

Spellbound, modern man looks to the Great Oracle, otherwise known as the Covid-19 Dashboard of the Johns Hopkins University. The same Johns Hopkins University whose Center for Health Security, founded with a grant from John D. Rockefeller, just so happened to run a simulation of a worldwide Coronavirus pandemic in October 2019. The Divine Dashboard shows the progress of sin across the world, and we stand awestruck before it.

The modern sinner is he who carries within him a virus, the one who is infected. What unites the old sinner and the new sinner is a loss of dignity. Dignity is now reserved for dignitaries.

The old believer was tainted with Original Sin from his very first breath; the modern believer is also beset from birth with invisible enemies: the demonic pathogens. So much for being born innocent and pure: no, as soon as it is born the child is under suspicion of impurity and disease – guilty until proven innocent, sick until proven healthy.

Initiation into the new cult and a new identity  

And this is where it can help to join a salvific cult. In the past, the initiation into this cult was through the Holy Sacrament of Baptism, which washed away all sin. Now, it is the Holy Sacrament of the Covid Vaccination.

In its origins the Christian baptism was reserved for those adults who had already experienced a conversion of life, a metanoia. However, very quickly this baptismal rite degenerated into an initiation by compulsion into a religious cult, one which was exported to the four corners of the Earth by the Church, the first truly global corporation, using a combination of promises and threats of violence, both physical and psychological.

When we regard the historical development that led to obligatory baptism of children, we see how little remained of the original ritual and of its being an expression of the conscious choice of an individual wishing to be saved.

Baptism became connected with the naming of the child, the bestowing of an identity – a particularly powerful form of initiation into a cult. This new baptism changes the spiritual genes of the infant.

Does the Corona vaccination also impart a new identity, the gift of which is the sign of one’s entry into a cult?

It occurs to me that there is a parallel here with the little-known non-governmental organisation Identity 2020, or ID2020 for short. This NGO touts for a global digital identity. The so-called “Green Pass”, the vaccine passport, appears to be the first step into this Brave New World. The combination of vaccination and an identity stored on a blockchain is the recipe for us becoming mere objects and therefore things that can be owned.

Who founded ID2020? It was founded, amongst others by Gavi, Microsoft, the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation as well as the Rockefeller Foundation.

Of Sheep and Robots 

Right now, we are witnessing a passing of the baton from one cult to another: from a religious cult to a scientific cult.

The new church is being built on top of the old church in a most exemplary way. The Covid vaccination is the initiation ritual into the new cult. And initiation rituals can be dangerous. Or in other words: there might be side-effects. But then, affliction tends to bind the members of a cult even tighter together.

At the present time, the two cults overlap quite strikingly, like sets in a Venn diagram, until the old cult then passes away into insignificance. Religious images are among the most powerful and stirring of all images as they speak to our subconscious minds. By lending the new cult in its infancy the halo of the older religion the acceptance of the new cult is thus made all the easier. Pop-up vaccination centres in cemeteries and semi-permanent vaccination sites in church such as the venerable St Stephen’s Cathedral in Vienna, where even children are now being vaccinated, clearly illustrate this.

Indeed, it seems strange and barbaric that this is done in the chapel of St Barbara within the Cathedral. “Suffer the little children to come unto me!” (Matthew 19:14) was meant to express the Saviour’s love for the little ones not as a call for them to roll up their sleeves to increase the profits of the pharmaceutical industry, the representatives of whom I am quite sure Jesus would have driven from the Temple.

* Karl Lauterbach is the German Health Minister who has been most keen to introduce the German population to the manifold blessings of the Covid vaccination. 

Original text:  

Gerald Ehegartner is a middle school teacher, musician, wilderness educator, teacher of improv theatre and a vision quest guide who was born and lives in Austria. He is a member of the Academy for Potential Development of noted brain researcher Dr Gerald Hüther and is the author of 3 books:

Headjump into the Heart: When Old Man Coyote Blew up the School System

Fire into the Heart: How I Learned to Dance with Fear

Thoughts in a Time of Confusion: Profound and Humorous Texts on Explosive Topics of our Time

He is a sought-after speaker on topics such as education, nature pedagogy, education through humour, the governmental response to Covid, and transhumanism.

David B, a Scotsman, translated the first third of the original text into English. Since many of the jokes and puns in the original text are untranslatable into English he must take some of the credit (or the blame) for the reader’s enjoyment of (or displeasure) at the translated text.




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